Please don't shake my nest!

(this is a nest some little bird built on our front door wreath!)

It seems like sometimes I think that life's suppose to be comfortable.

But who ever promised that?

Jesus didn't. Paul didn't. Infact they ensure that it won't.

Learning to being used to being uncomfortable (as oxi-moronish as it sounds) is what I'm trying to do. (wow, that's a lot of "being"s!)

For the past month and a half we've been studying apologetics in our college group with the church. It has turned out to be on of the most beneficial tools in helping me be bold in evangelism. We've been looking at the book "Questioning Evangelism" and how using questions really help our sharing. Boy is it true!

A couple weeks ago I was talking to my brother about our calling in the faith. We were talking about how we are to take up our cross everyday. And my brother said something that really challenged me; he said that he regurlarly has to ask himself, "Am I ashamed of the gospel?"

Am I ashamed of the gospel? "No way! Of course not! I would DIE for the gospel!" is my first response. But as I started to evaluate my heart and my actions the question became way more serious. AM I ashamed of the Gospel? Am I afraid to look like a fool to my professor and classmates? What if they laugh at me and write me off, closing any future conversations? God knows my heart, he knows I love Him; but am I being disobedient in His commandment of going and making disciples?

These were/are serious questions I had to ask myself. If I answer "yes" to those questions, than I'm not living as I ought. David was talking about how we HAVE to be ready to DIE for the gospel! For people in other countries, this is quite possible. In the US, probably our biggest threat is being mocked (rejected, humiliated, you get it) which is really NOTHING. Compared to being burned at a stake, or being thrown into jail - just for believing in Christ! We really have nothing to lose.

So these past few weeks I've had to keep this in my mind, as a priority. I want to share the gospel, but I haven't been bold enough to bring it up out of everyday context. So, in our college group, Christian Heddick prepared a list of questions to help us bring up the topic, and a list of likely challenging questions to be prepared for. SO helpful!

By God's grace, I've been able to die to myself and my pride and start finding ways to bring up the gospel while talking to my classmates. It's been pretty amazing, and God has not at all abandoned me through the process! In one instance, I had the opportunity to share the gospel with a few of my classmates, as well as having most of the class listening in. Last week I got into a few conversations with classmates and one of my professors. At times it was really difficult and I was in over my head (with my professor). Even still, as inept as I am - GOD is FAR Greater! And all I'm doing is planing a seed. It seems like the more we step out, the more natural it feels.

I guess when I realize that I was a sheep - headed for a slaughter - and the amazing shepherd came and saved me from this slaughter, I want to go tell the other sheep about this shepherd who can save them, too! I asked my atheist friend "So, if you don't believe in God, do you ever feel any peace?" and his answer was surprisingly honest - "Very, very rarely. I'm practically a nervous wreck!" How sad is that! It changes everything, when we get our eyes off of ourselves, and our image and then focus on our savior and the lost. Wow.

I write these things not to build myself up, or to share how great I am (not that you could really get that impression from this blog), but meerly to share what God is doing in me! It is so exciting to me, and I hope it is encouraging to anyone else who also has had trouble being bold. If anyone wants those lists of questions - just comment and I'll post them.

Oh Jesus! I pray I can live my life in abandoment to you. I pray that I will be able to effectively share your saving news to those around me who are desparate for you, that I won't be too caught up in myself and fail in sharing the greatest news imaginable! I pray that I will not display a shame of your gospel in how I live, but that I can shine for You!
I ask these in Your Holy name. Amen.